I had this whole post thought out in my head to write yesterday. Today was my last day of work...
At this time last night, I thought I was a-ok with that. I thought I might shed a few tears, but I never expected to be completely heart broken and for it to be so tough.
Even driving into work - I was cool with it being my last day. I was thinking, "yeah, I can do this. Bring it!"
I walked in and went straight to human resources so that I could get my immunization records and discuss rolling over my retirement to the new job. When I walked into my department, a bunch of my coworkers were there to "surprise" me with goodies and food. It was so nice of them. I managed to hold it together through everyone talking about my last day.
I quickly learned that I did not prepare myself for the types of feelings that I felt today. I was not prepared to hear how much I would be missed. I was not prepared for tight hugs that I knew were coming from the heart. I was not prepared to be missed by my favorite cafeteria lady that I saw everyday...and who I might not ever see again. I was not prepared to think about possibly never seeing some of my coworkers ever again. I was not prepared to clock out for the last time at that hospital.
Even more than all of that - I was not prepared to say goodbye to the coworkers who I consider good friends...and a couple my best friends, even. Some of these people I went to college with. Some of them were there when I was a student and when I became a full time tech. And some of them came in between.
This was the first place I worked where I was putting my major to use. I started as a student and was hired post-graduation. I only worked there for 4 years, but those 4 years were very important in my life.
I created bonds with those people. We would hang out after work. I could vent about life to them and they could do the same to me. We could fight one day and make up easily the next like nothing happened. I am going to miss them all so much.
I know that I want to be in Columbia...there is no question about that. It does not, however, make it any easier to leave the life that I have had for the last 4 years (at my job/hospital) and 7 years (since I moved to this city after high school). I am so excited for the next chapter in my life, but it's a bittersweet feeling.
If I could transplant my hospital and friends into Columbia - I would be in heaven. Obviously, that's me living in a fantasy world.
Life is about the changes and challenges. I am ready to face them full steam ahead. That's why I left work today saying "see ya later" and not "goodbye." I know I will see many of them again..and keep in touch with the majority of them. They all know that my journey started there and they understand that this is what is best for me. It's great to have their support as difficult as it is.
**And I want to apologize if this post is jumbled, rambling mess. It's hard to put into words the many different feelings that I have gone through in the last couple of weeks...and specifically the last couple of days.